CONFESSION #210

Roses are red

Violets are blue

How can I land a date

With a mug like this as bate?

CONFESSION #209

To help provide even further proof of just how stupid and gullible I am, (as if any more is needed) I once bought a book, through the mail, on how to get rich quickly by betting on race horses and actually believed I could do it just as easily as I fastened my Velcro shoes.

CONFESSION #208

While working as an opportunistic limo driver, I purposely misused a gas card I’d been given by using it for personal use.

I even had the gall to continue using it after the owner of the company had died and the company was disbanded.

CONFESSION #207

I tried to play hooky in grade school one day by running home from school during recess, then trying to con my mother and grandmother into believing school was let out for the day by moving the hands on my grandmother’s kitchen clock forward.

CONFESSION #206

I find it very distasteful and disheartening how the medicine of money seems to be the only treatment or cure for a grieving heart after someone’s loved one has suffered an accidental or wrongful death.

Only in America as Don King would say...only in America.

CONFESSION #205

When I was a kid, I used to sneak into the family kitchen while my folks were asleep and covertly take sips from one of my mother’s two liter soda bottles then immediately refill it with tap water.

CONFESSION #204

I believe all forms of gambling should be legalized.

How hypocritical is it for the government to outlaw gambling, with a few exceptions of course, unless its government sponsored gambling like lotteries and scratch off cards.

CONFESSION #203

If I could build my very own Mount Rushmore-like monument, I’d put the faces of Yoda, Santa Claus, Jesus, Papa Smurf, Gandhi, Larry Flynt, Hugh Hefner, and Mother Theresa on it.

CONFESSION #202

Being the overemotional and sensitive guy I am, though secretly of course, I sometimes tear up when I watch a sad movie, television show, or sappy commercial.

Hell, even a sad song can bring me to tears.

CONFESSION #201

I blew off my grandfather’s funeral ( On my mother’s side of the family ) out of sheer selfishness as I didn’t want my extended family to see just how big of a loser I’d become...

as if they hadn’t already known.